30 Days of Hogan's Heroes - Day 5

[belphegor1982]

It’s a good thing I wrote these entries in advance - otherwise I’d never have time to elaborate :o)

Day 5 – Favourite villain/antagonist?

When it comes to killer one-liners and characters snarking at each other, Hogan’s Heroes always delivers; since Hogan and the boys are usually ahead of Schultz and Klink in term of banter and/or awareness of what’s going on, snarking is usually on the side of the good guys. But the one bad guy who could give Hogan a run for his money sarcasm is General Burkhalter.

Burkhalter wears a Heer (land army) uniform and is shown to be Colonel Klink’s superior when it comes to Stalag business. Each time we see him in Klink’s office, he makes it no secret that this is the last place he wants to be, that he considers Klink to be terminally stupid, and now and then has to wonder at the fact that such an idiot apparently does have and keep a no-escape record. In every one of the 66 episodes he appears in, he manages to find new ways to threaten Klink with very unpleasant death at the Russian front. Logically, most of his snark is directed at Klink. Consider these little beauties:

Burkhalter: Klink is a fine actor. Look how well he’s played the part of a German officer all these years. (“Klink for the Defence”)

or

Klink: Have you heard the wonderful news, sir?
Burkhalter: Have you transferred to the Navy? (“Bombsight”)

And in the same episode

Burkhalter: Klink, you will be court-martialled, shot, and sent to the Russian front.
Klink: But General Burkhalter, you can’t do all of those to me!
Burkhalter: Try me.

If the snark didn’t make it obvious, Klink and he really don’t play in the same league, wit-wise; and when Hogan usually goes for Klink’s panic and pride buttons equally when dealing with him, Burkhalter’s biggest handle is undoubtedly his pride and love of shiny/beautiful things. It’s a good thing, too, because when he decides to be cunning, he comes perilously close (like in “Information Please”, where he plants false information which goes to the Allied command by way of Hogan – who catches on fairly quickly, fortunately).

He’s like a Bond villain’s cat made man – a big, fat, dangerously clever old cat, generally grumpy but full of false smiles and witticisms – and probably one of the most actually dangerous antagonists.