[Fanfic] Mad Tea Party
22 Jun 2010 09:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
belphegor1982Title: Mad Tea Party
Rating: G
Characters: Captain Cold, Pied Piper, Trickster
Pairing: none
Genre: humour/drama/crack
'Verse: DCAU, most probably. I love Animated!Trickster too much :P
Summary: Captain Cold really, really hates drugs.
Everything was a blur of colours, and while in theory this shouldn’t have been so bad, anybody who once dabbled in paint and mixed colours together knows that you end up with a nauseatingly swirly amalgam that looks murky at best.
Also, there was a rabbit running without going anywhere and muttering under his breath.
In short, Len felt like crap, and couldn’t for the life of him remember why, or even where he was and what the hell he was doing seated at a table covered in cups and saucers and pots of various contents.
He almost fell off his chair in shock when a head popped up two inches from him like a jack-in-the-box. The big crazy grin and blond hair he knew, but the hat was unfamiliar.
“You’re early! You’re not supposed to be early, really, you’re supposed to be late so I can waggle my finger like that and go tut-tut!”
Len grasped the edge of the table in an attempt not to fall – off the chair? Off the world? – while James Jesse stared at him in the delighted, manic sort of way of a slightly cracked person who has heard about the concept of personal space but decided he doesn’t give a damn about it. And he shoved a cup under Len’s nose.
What. The. Hell.
“Well, I’m not supposed to be here at all!” wailed the rabbit – talking rabbits, sure, why not – who for some reason wore a red coat and held a watch so old-fashioned it was practically ancient. “I’m supposed to run! I’m always supposed to run!”
“Run after what?” said a new voice, and Len, too nauseous and confused to do much else, rolled his eyes. Of course. You see one, the other ain’t far.
It was Piper, and it wasn’t. The smile was off. In fact, it was just plain wrong. Len couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly, but something about this smile was creepy as hell.
Too many teeth. But not only that.
Len felt the hairs on his arms rise.
Trickster still stared at him with that impossibly wide grin. The rabbit still ran. And Piper disappeared behind his smile.
“Screw this,” Len muttered, feeling cold, reassuring reality start to return, “I’m outta here.”
The disturbing colours faded to black.
________________________________________
“… So the whole thing was a dream of the Red King, then? The two books?”
“I don’t know, James, it’s not that simple. Maybe it’s a way to say that life is all just a dream.”
“Man, Lewis Carroll liked to mess with people’s heads a lot.”
“I’m not going to argue on this one. Hey, looks like he’s waking up.”
“Len? You still alive?”
Those two voices … He knew those voices. For certain.
The certainty was good to hold on to while he tried to fight his way through the remainder of the thick fog and the nausea. And the pain. Dammit, what happened?
“Didn’t think you’d make it this time.”
“I did.”
“You’re the optimist, James.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing.”
“…”
“… You didn’t see the blood, the gore, the –”
Piper’s voice trailed off, or Len’s focus did. Everything felt like cotton candy and tasted grey. Or possibly purple.
This almost – almost – freaked Len as much as the creepy dream did. He was not the kind of guy who tasted colours – he didn’t have that kind of mind. He was a down-to-earth, pragmatical, no-nonsense guy, happy to leave the wacky associations and comparisons to the Trickster.
God, I really hope they’re not drinking tea right now.
“Wha’ happened?” he managed to rasp, getting both men’s attention if he listened to the silence right. Piper told him. That accounted for the dull but steady pain in his gut.
“So they gave you morphine or something, and apparently it took a lot to knock you out,” the Trickster added almost cheerfully. “Wow, hey, you must be high as a kite by now. Howzit feel?”
Len wished he could open his eyes. He wished it hard. Somehow, he didn’t think the dark glare he intended had the same impact with his eyes closed.
“Next time … nothin’.”
“What do you mean?” Piper’s voice, sounding rather curious, and if Len knew him as well as he thought he did, he had cocked his head ever so slightly to the side.
“No … morphine. No creepy … funny … stuff.”
“Len, that’s ridiculous,” came Trickster’s voice, no longer cheerful, and you knew things were bad when James Jesse, of all people, appointed himself as the voice of reason. “Are you trying to be hardass or something? ‘Cause –”
“You sure?” Piper interrupted, in a very different tone, and through the murky haze Len wondered if those super-hearing inner-ear contraptions of his had sensed the genuine fear hidden in the hoarse mumble. Probably had. Damn.
“Hell y–yeah. Certain.”
No way he was ever seeing that ‘tea party’ thing again. No way.
He didn’t even remember reading Alice in Wonderland. The last time he’d seen someone read the book was probably Sam.
Figures.
As Piper and Trickster embarked in one of the cryptic conversations they were somewhat famous for – cryptic for anyone that wasn’t them, that is – and probably watched over him (as Rogues looked after each other), Len struggled not to fall asleep again.
They were bank robbers who dressed up for heists. They all used one gimmick or another as the base for their ‘work’ persona. They all had what you’d call issues, family-wise, so they’d built their own little dysfunctional ‘family’ over the years.
Frankly, they were screwed-up enough without disturbing smiles and coat-wearing rabbits.
Poor Len :D I swear this is not a side-effect of watching Alice in Wonderland (a month ago or so!). I... don't know where it came from, but the image of Trickster combining the Mad Hatter and the March Hare and CreepySmile!Piper stuck, so.... I had to do something about it :o) Also, the White Rabbit does wear a red coat. Probably doesn't have a lightning motif on it, though :P
In other news, yesterday was the Fête de la Musique: on each 21st of June, people go out on the streets in the evening and play music - any kind of music, a garage rock band, the lone guy with his guitar, marching bands, classical ensembles - anything. Sadly, I got up real early in the morning, so I couldn't go (dog tired after last Saturday's bachelor party!) but I love the concept and I usually go have a look. Thought about Piper a lot, too :o)
Ivy, I'm working on your birthday present! Hope I actually make it on time :o]
